I really wish i could blog about happier things like how excited I am my sister is coming here for Christmas or how proud I am of Hannah taking on a very heavy class load, or something wonderful I created in the kitchen or even how cute the kittens are.
I can't do that right now because I am in a foul mood and I have to get this off my chest.
My health sucks big time and I really want to help it but I can't seem to get a doctor to agree with me and give me what I need. When your health is suffering and you spend most of your time just muddling through the pain it's hard not to be in a bad mood.
To top that off I want to smack JT most of the time because he is not motivated to do anything around the house. He walks by mess after mess as if they aren't there. He spend huge amounts of time hidden in the bedroom on the computer. he doesn't have to hear or deal with the kids, doorbells or mess that way. I really hate the computer in the bedroom. Aside from the fact that it allows him to hide, it keeps me awake. Our bedroom is small and he has two computer screens that are bright and he types away on it until very late into the night. I don't think he has any idea how disturbing that is in such a small room when you are trying to relax for the night. It's not really a fight I want to pick either.
I am really proud of Hannah for taking on a structured and large class load at two different places this year, plus working a little. She has developed an attitude so big I don't think I could beat it out of her with a backhoe. Her only chores are the cat boxes, her room and the very occasional babysitting I ask her to do. Every day I have to remind her several times to do the cat boxes. Getting her to take her laundry from her room to the laundry room requires a presidential order anymore (and her rooms stinks because of it). The only time she is civil or nice to me is when I am doing something directly for her. Last weekend she told me I was a bitch and always was one. This was in the process of her interrupting me while I was getting on to her abut being responsible for her own things when we are out somewhere. She told me I needed to stop, she didn't need to listen to me and I was a bitch. It took every ounce of sanity I had not to reach over, slap her until she was black and blue and kick her ass out of my car. That sounds bad but damn she is 15, my child and she does not get to inform me I am not allowed to lecture, scold or correct her on her behavior and then tell me I am nothing but a bitch! She is perfectly pleasant to all other people but at home and particularly with me she is dangerously close to having her ass kicked. She is like this every day, particularly when she is told she's breaking a rule or is in trouble for not doing something she was suppose to. She has an enormous amount of freedom around here and I contort myself to make things happen for her the way she would like them to happen. I ask for very little from her and she is giving me this kind of shit on a daily basis. There are times when things go nicely but it's when I am doing things for her like shopping, driving lessons, letting all her friends be over, making her special food and then delivering it to her room, driving her so she doesn't melt in the rain. She has always has some tude but the last few weeks things have rapidly gone down hill. I'm starting to feel the need to become a drill Sargent and I don't like it. She won't clean her room at all so this morning I went and pulled all the crap out from under and next to the dresser (mostly laundry), and emptied her closet into the middle of her floor. Her closet was packed top to bottom, a lot of it unpacked boxes she just didn't want to deal with. In the process I found a bunch of my stuff that she had just taken (without asking) and never returned. I also found jeans I've bought her cut up in all kinds of strips and squares. I won't be buying her anything for a really long time. Her Christmas stocking might even go empty if she keeps treating things this way. She is going to be really mad at me but she will deal with this stuff. I've decided to make random check and dumps of her room. Maybe she will see the value of improving her tude and taking care of her stuff if I start to regularly invade her space.
Last night as I was giving Hailey a bath I found lice. I'd have rather we had the plague than lice! It happens I know. It is not that I'm ashamed exactly but we have dealt with it before and it is a nightmare. It spreads so quickly and the special shampoos are useless, the bugs were still alive after wards (several attempts). We could not get it to go away at all last time (and it was so embarrassing) until a friend showed me how to use shortening to kill the bugs and get the nits to slide out. It's messy but it really works. So I immediately panicked a little. They weren't bad on her and after checking everyone else it was only her. I am cutting the boys hair anyway. I put a shower cap on her and went to work on the house. It was already 9 at night. I bag the hundred or so animals they have, stripped the beds, put all the pillows in the dryer for an hour, and just bagged some of them. I stripped out bed and had Hannah do the same with hers. I kept calling JT who was still working, but not answering his phone, because I needed the damn little combs and more trash bags. Then I sat down and greased the crap out of Haileys hair and put it back in the shower cap. I had to go do all the dishes (lots) so I could wash her hair in the sink later and I was washing in sheets and rotating pillows in the dryer as well. I wanted it done last night. I was up until almost 1am doing this stuff. I finally got the little kids to bed about midnight. JT did bring home a comb, made our bed and played on the computer while I did everything else. The laundry still isn't done. I still have to comb Haileys hair again today and wash it again. I'm taking no chances at all. I'm pretty sure she got it from a neighbor girl. She really hasn't been playing with anyone else to catch it. I'm really pretty ticked because the parents are the type that won't give a rats ass if she has it, unless the school refuses to let her go. They won't do anything if I suggest they check her for it. The girl went around for days in the same clothes all summer, the parents just don't care.
I'm all for making lemon aide when life gives you lemons but I've been given rotten tomatoes! I'm crying foul.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
school
well our school year starts tomorrow. Hannah is doing an online school as well as two classes at the local public school. I am truly conflicted over this. part of me is relieved to not have to worry about planning her things and such. then I have my moments of frustration and sadness over it. I'm no longer in control of what or how she is learning things. Letting go of that is difficult. For one thing I find some of the public school curriculum to be truly a waste of time and very poorly done. I could do better in many areas but I also know that she is going to be taking classes that she will be getting better than I could give as well. Besides those concerns there is the fact that she just won't be a part of our family schooling much this year. It makes me sad. She won't be going to park days or field trips or just some of the fun things we do around the house. I am going to miss her being a part of those things. It already feels like a piece is missing. She's super happy to be doing this and I really do hope it works out the way she wants it to but I'm still gonna be sad about it some.
I've decided to try slightly more formal schooling with Jason and Hailey this year than I have in the past. We are officially starting tomorrow as well. It just seems less confusing for them this way. They are becoming aware of the different types of schooling, school year and such. It's fairly confusing to them and a bit frustrating. I'm hoping to alleviate some of that by sticking to a traditional school year as well as being a bit more formal in a little bit of school work everyday. that's my goal at least. I think it might eventually go down to three days a week as we mellow out. Tomorrow they are each going to make a calender of there own and play some games. Very simple. Our first unit study will be on Egypt.
I've decided to try slightly more formal schooling with Jason and Hailey this year than I have in the past. We are officially starting tomorrow as well. It just seems less confusing for them this way. They are becoming aware of the different types of schooling, school year and such. It's fairly confusing to them and a bit frustrating. I'm hoping to alleviate some of that by sticking to a traditional school year as well as being a bit more formal in a little bit of school work everyday. that's my goal at least. I think it might eventually go down to three days a week as we mellow out. Tomorrow they are each going to make a calender of there own and play some games. Very simple. Our first unit study will be on Egypt.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Thoughts on PITA
I've just read an article on PITA and it's unhappy meals. These are mcnugget boxes with cut up rubber chicken parts and blood in. Oh can't leave out the freaky looking Ronald McDonald that's wheeling a knife and looks like he belongs in a slasher film. To an adult or even older child these unhappy meals my be fascinating or even fun. To the young crowd that typically gets the happy meal they are likely to be horrifying. I can't imagine my six year old Hailey being handed one of these and not crying. She would probably have nightmares to boot. Sure some little kids might think nothing of it or be able to blow off the words the twisted protesters are saying as they hand these out but not most. Sure my older kids would likely be asking them for extras to go home and have fun with. My older kids aren't their target when handing these twisted little packages out though, my little ones are.
This is just one more example of why I despise PITA. There desire to protect animals from cruel treatment is great. I'm pretty sure where they and I draw the line on cruel is different though. The fact that they use near terrorist tactics to achieve their goals and believe everybody should give up animal products or be subject to their bizarre, intrusive, and often counter productive behaviors shows me that protection of animals is probably not their main goal after all. I can't believe that any group would really believe that scaring little children by giving boxes of fake bloody chicken parts to them would actually do there message any good. It simply makes them look like a group of freaks hell bent on being twisted.
This is just one more example of why I despise PITA. There desire to protect animals from cruel treatment is great. I'm pretty sure where they and I draw the line on cruel is different though. The fact that they use near terrorist tactics to achieve their goals and believe everybody should give up animal products or be subject to their bizarre, intrusive, and often counter productive behaviors shows me that protection of animals is probably not their main goal after all. I can't believe that any group would really believe that scaring little children by giving boxes of fake bloody chicken parts to them would actually do there message any good. It simply makes them look like a group of freaks hell bent on being twisted.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Parenting sucks right now
Hannah is sucking the joy right out of me almost daily with her new tude of "leave me alone I'm all drown up". The last half of this summer has consisted of drama, drama and more drama all from Hannah and her friends. Her friends are always here, they eat my food and leave messes behind, have fights with each other here, come to me for first aid (more often than you'd think), trash the house, couldn't stay quiet if I paid them. Of course Hannah is right in the middle of all this encouraging it.
On Wed she was going to meet a friend downtown for lunch at a restaurant she works at and then go to the mall. She was doing all of this on the bus but did ask if I'd pick her up from the mall. Getting her from the mall wasn't a problem with me and frankly I was a little happy because her boyfriend wasn't in on this outing. They are practically glued at the hips. I was glad she was doing something without him. So fast forward many hours and I get a call, it's Hannah. They missed the last bus and can I give Jessica a ride home when they get to our house (they offered to walk here). Jessica has no other way home since her grandma has no car so even though I didn't really wanna drive to her house I said ok. An hour later in walk the two girls and the two Austins. I said right away you didn't tell me they were with you as well and she just kinda laughs it off. It's not that I really cared who she was at the mall with or walking with (I could do without her boyfriend but that's me), I just did not think it was very nice of her to say her and Jessica were coming and then show up with the boys as well without even a heads up. It's freakin annoying. SO then they all proceed to the computer room where they are really loud, knocking each other off chairs, sitting on each other on chairs, screaming at times, knocked over the kittens food and water, knocked over some games and cards (into the water)and droping their drink cans and bottle on the floor where they left them. Then Hannah realises I made brownies and asks if they can have one. I told her they could each have one. It was a big 9 * 13 pan of them and the kids and I had only had one each, 3/4 of a pan was there still. When they got done (4 people) 1 1/2 was left! That really pissed me off because I had promised the other kids they could have another one later and that was just rudely piggish of them. Hannah knows better about all of this and her friends know better as well. I've also told her a bunch of times that she is held responsible for her guest behavior so she need to remind them of the rules or face the consequences for them. I ended up taking Jessica home with all of the kids in my van, that was annoying. I hadn't found the mess or brownie pan until we got back. At that point I exploded. Actually I think I controlled myself well. Her boyfriend was here but I really didn't care how embarrassed she was at that point. I told her everything that was wrong and that she was grounded for three days and would spend the next day cleaning the whole house because she was behaving like an ass. I might add that JT has been gone all week and she hasn't lifted a finger to even put her stuff away let alone anything else without me yelling at her first.
So now she has been grounded and she did do all the work I gave her that day but then proceeded to drop her personal stuff all over the house again and leave it there. Fast forward to this morning. I get up and all the little kids are up and doing loud messy things. Dishes, toys, clothes and trash are all over the house from the day before and a glass of something sticky is spilled on the coffee table and everyone has ignored it. There were six baskets of clean laundry lining the hallway that nobody had even thought to try and fold or put away. It defiantly did not make me smile at all. I cleaned up the coffee table, had the kids pick up there projects have breakfast and get dressed. While this was happening Hannah got up. I decided that since nobody wanted to help clean the house then they could all take their butts outside until I was done. At least that way I'd have some peace. I included the everybody to mean Hannah as well and let her know. About 20 minutes later she comes to me and says she needs to take a shower first. Uhm no her shower time is at night because her showers are 45 minutes long! So she argues with me and stomps away mad. Then she says she has nothing to do outside I said take a book. Nobody else was arguing with me even though Jason really wanted to be on the computer instead of outside and Hailey wanted to do art. So another 20 minutes or o passes and the others are outside, Hannah comes to me all dressed with a bookbag and tells me I'm going shopping". She's really lucky she has a head right now cause I wanted to pop it right off at that point. I had to remind her that she was grounded and couldn't go anywhere so no she was not going shopping at all, she was going to the yard. She then tells me it's not fair she'll have nothing to do and she is not a kid. Can you imagine the flame coming out my butt by this point. I was getting really pissed. Told her she was a child, she acted like a child so I treat her like a child and to get her butt outside NOW. I cleaned the whole house and then had all the kids come in and fold the laundry while I watched.
Then tonight Hannah is reading over some school papers that came and she starts to get very arrogant that they messed up because one of her classes isn't listed on the papers. I told her she is in the class, I have her schedule, not to panic. She tells me no I'm not, show me where on here it is. I look at the part of the paper that has the schedule listed and tell her it looks like it's just the first semester list I look at the rest in a few minutes. She still goes on about how it's messed up and goes back to reading the papers. Later I look at them and the first sentence of the paragraph proceeding the schedule says it is the fall schedule. I pointed this out to her and told her she needed to work on reading things all the way though before assuming things. She told me to just stop being down on her because I've been doing it all day. Well really what does she expect me to do just ignore her behavior or her words? So I continue to talk to her and agree that I have been lecturing her a lot and with reason. I'm talking she's rolling her eyes, cuts me off, tells me to stop, that I need to notice her trying to be responsible, organized and what not. When I told her to do it for more than five minutes at a shot and I would she rolled her eyes again (someday I'm gonna duct tape them in place I swear) and walks off. I told her she was grounded for two more days for being rude and walking off. She argued I added another day.
I'm realistic on the grounding. She's only grounded from going anywhere without the family, me or to a babysitting job, and from having anybody over here. She still has her phone and the computer so she's not dying by far but I bet she thinks I'm the mean wicked witch.
I know what is going on. She's having growing pains. She thinks she is independent, has "her own life", that I am interfering with my rules and expectations. She's figuring since she is getting school independent of me and maybe even getting to go onto the public school campus that she's all grown now and I should just leave her alone and let her do her thing like she was and adult. Problem is if she was an adult and acted this way I'd kick her ass out! Adults take responsibility, they behave courteously towards others and when they don't they get called an ass and if they live with others and behave like an ass they soon find themselves looking for solo accommodations. Not to mention adults don't call mommy to take their friends home!
Parenting is just really hard right now. It's hard to always be the enforcer. I'm tired of her pushing and pushing and pushing. I want a break. I want things to level off and for her to stop being such a brat right now. It would be much easier and less frustrating and even saddening to just give in to her but it would be right or good in the long run. Oh it'd be nice if she stopped treating her brothers and sister like shit as well.
On Wed she was going to meet a friend downtown for lunch at a restaurant she works at and then go to the mall. She was doing all of this on the bus but did ask if I'd pick her up from the mall. Getting her from the mall wasn't a problem with me and frankly I was a little happy because her boyfriend wasn't in on this outing. They are practically glued at the hips. I was glad she was doing something without him. So fast forward many hours and I get a call, it's Hannah. They missed the last bus and can I give Jessica a ride home when they get to our house (they offered to walk here). Jessica has no other way home since her grandma has no car so even though I didn't really wanna drive to her house I said ok. An hour later in walk the two girls and the two Austins. I said right away you didn't tell me they were with you as well and she just kinda laughs it off. It's not that I really cared who she was at the mall with or walking with (I could do without her boyfriend but that's me), I just did not think it was very nice of her to say her and Jessica were coming and then show up with the boys as well without even a heads up. It's freakin annoying. SO then they all proceed to the computer room where they are really loud, knocking each other off chairs, sitting on each other on chairs, screaming at times, knocked over the kittens food and water, knocked over some games and cards (into the water)and droping their drink cans and bottle on the floor where they left them. Then Hannah realises I made brownies and asks if they can have one. I told her they could each have one. It was a big 9 * 13 pan of them and the kids and I had only had one each, 3/4 of a pan was there still. When they got done (4 people) 1 1/2 was left! That really pissed me off because I had promised the other kids they could have another one later and that was just rudely piggish of them. Hannah knows better about all of this and her friends know better as well. I've also told her a bunch of times that she is held responsible for her guest behavior so she need to remind them of the rules or face the consequences for them. I ended up taking Jessica home with all of the kids in my van, that was annoying. I hadn't found the mess or brownie pan until we got back. At that point I exploded. Actually I think I controlled myself well. Her boyfriend was here but I really didn't care how embarrassed she was at that point. I told her everything that was wrong and that she was grounded for three days and would spend the next day cleaning the whole house because she was behaving like an ass. I might add that JT has been gone all week and she hasn't lifted a finger to even put her stuff away let alone anything else without me yelling at her first.
So now she has been grounded and she did do all the work I gave her that day but then proceeded to drop her personal stuff all over the house again and leave it there. Fast forward to this morning. I get up and all the little kids are up and doing loud messy things. Dishes, toys, clothes and trash are all over the house from the day before and a glass of something sticky is spilled on the coffee table and everyone has ignored it. There were six baskets of clean laundry lining the hallway that nobody had even thought to try and fold or put away. It defiantly did not make me smile at all. I cleaned up the coffee table, had the kids pick up there projects have breakfast and get dressed. While this was happening Hannah got up. I decided that since nobody wanted to help clean the house then they could all take their butts outside until I was done. At least that way I'd have some peace. I included the everybody to mean Hannah as well and let her know. About 20 minutes later she comes to me and says she needs to take a shower first. Uhm no her shower time is at night because her showers are 45 minutes long! So she argues with me and stomps away mad. Then she says she has nothing to do outside I said take a book. Nobody else was arguing with me even though Jason really wanted to be on the computer instead of outside and Hailey wanted to do art. So another 20 minutes or o passes and the others are outside, Hannah comes to me all dressed with a bookbag and tells me I'm going shopping". She's really lucky she has a head right now cause I wanted to pop it right off at that point. I had to remind her that she was grounded and couldn't go anywhere so no she was not going shopping at all, she was going to the yard. She then tells me it's not fair she'll have nothing to do and she is not a kid. Can you imagine the flame coming out my butt by this point. I was getting really pissed. Told her she was a child, she acted like a child so I treat her like a child and to get her butt outside NOW. I cleaned the whole house and then had all the kids come in and fold the laundry while I watched.
Then tonight Hannah is reading over some school papers that came and she starts to get very arrogant that they messed up because one of her classes isn't listed on the papers. I told her she is in the class, I have her schedule, not to panic. She tells me no I'm not, show me where on here it is. I look at the part of the paper that has the schedule listed and tell her it looks like it's just the first semester list I look at the rest in a few minutes. She still goes on about how it's messed up and goes back to reading the papers. Later I look at them and the first sentence of the paragraph proceeding the schedule says it is the fall schedule. I pointed this out to her and told her she needed to work on reading things all the way though before assuming things. She told me to just stop being down on her because I've been doing it all day. Well really what does she expect me to do just ignore her behavior or her words? So I continue to talk to her and agree that I have been lecturing her a lot and with reason. I'm talking she's rolling her eyes, cuts me off, tells me to stop, that I need to notice her trying to be responsible, organized and what not. When I told her to do it for more than five minutes at a shot and I would she rolled her eyes again (someday I'm gonna duct tape them in place I swear) and walks off. I told her she was grounded for two more days for being rude and walking off. She argued I added another day.
I'm realistic on the grounding. She's only grounded from going anywhere without the family, me or to a babysitting job, and from having anybody over here. She still has her phone and the computer so she's not dying by far but I bet she thinks I'm the mean wicked witch.
I know what is going on. She's having growing pains. She thinks she is independent, has "her own life", that I am interfering with my rules and expectations. She's figuring since she is getting school independent of me and maybe even getting to go onto the public school campus that she's all grown now and I should just leave her alone and let her do her thing like she was and adult. Problem is if she was an adult and acted this way I'd kick her ass out! Adults take responsibility, they behave courteously towards others and when they don't they get called an ass and if they live with others and behave like an ass they soon find themselves looking for solo accommodations. Not to mention adults don't call mommy to take their friends home!
Parenting is just really hard right now. It's hard to always be the enforcer. I'm tired of her pushing and pushing and pushing. I want a break. I want things to level off and for her to stop being such a brat right now. It would be much easier and less frustrating and even saddening to just give in to her but it would be right or good in the long run. Oh it'd be nice if she stopped treating her brothers and sister like shit as well.
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