Life is full of lemons

So this year I'm finding sugar and making lemon aide!

2010 came in great! Had a good time with some friends on New Years eve, played a game or Pegs and Jokers. Kept it very low key. After a week of non-stop family over Christmas I needed low key in a bad way. Christmas with my sister was Marvelous! We hope to go to Mn this summer for a bit.

Lots of "new' things for 2010. JT is going back to school this semester for another certificate program. It's a two semester type thing I think and maybe will make him more valuable in the job field. He's also suppose to go out of town for a week right at the beginning of February which is not working out so well for us on all kinds of levels. I do not do well when he is out of town. It is hard enough to juggle everything when he is here and maintain my stress levels so that my health doesn't go wacko. I don't know how to do it well juggling fiances, my health and the kids health stuff.

I am planning on seeking out a pain management specialist for my pain issues. I think my doctor is maxing out what he can do for me. He has a limited understanding of fibromyalgia and he treats all my pain as if it is temporary like with a broken bone. Most of his information on fibro comes from drug Representatives pushing the latest greatest cure which is defiantly not a one size fits all treatment. Nothing going on with me is temporary and I need someone who recognises that and can help me manage it for the long haul. My chiropractor has been and is great but it's not realistic or affordable to go to him 3 to 5 times a week.

Xavier has gone 5 days without a pacifier all on his own!!!!!!! A week or so before he turned four I mentioned to him that when he was a big four year old that maybe he wouldn't need a paci anymore and he agreed. He decided that they should go to baby Sylus lol. I didn't think he'd follow through with it and the day he turned four he did ask for it at nap and I reminded him he was four now and said he wouldn't need them. He thought for a moment and then got sad because Sylus wasn't there to give them to, but he didn't want one. I swear this has been the easiest child on some of the hardest things. I love him to pieces. I am a little sad that he's growing up though.

Hannah has had a couple of concussions the last month. It's been suspected that she had a heart problem causing her to get dizzy and pas out and it was confirmed today that she does they just don't know how bad it is yet or what the exact triggers are. She has to go in for tests to purposely stress her heart to different levels in order to get different reactions, it's called a tilt test. They might actually give her medicine to cause her heart to race in order to get her to pass out. The problems have gotten a lot worse the last six to eight weeks and it's probably because of the enormous amount of stress she was under with school, since stress apparently is a known trigger. Public school has been a challenge for her to find her way in this year. She made some bad choices, which she is completely owning, but between that and her head/heart and not being able to think at all at some points, she failed four of her six online courses. She did pass both of her in building classes with an A. She has learned a terribly hard lesson with this about not putting things off and managing her time, which I know she will do much better of in the future. I feel really really bad for her though because she is/was beating herself up over knowing she was going to have to just let some classes go and fail them and then one she thought she passed it appears she failed. She worked really hard too and would not give up until she was sure she had at least passed and then she didn't.

Jason sat through his first dentist appointment in years without going ape shit, last month. I was very proud of him. He was definitely not a great patient with all the screaming of ouch but he got through it. Then they told me he needed braces and a cavity filled. He is not doing well with these ideas at all. He gets freaked at the mention of the dentist now and I fear what it will be like to have the cavity filled. He going to have to be heavily sedated for it. I'm really not sure we will be able to do the braces at all because for one he hates the idea so no insensitive to even be reasonable over them and two he is in pure panic mode over them. When he panics it is not pretty at all. He needs them fairly badly and soon but they are temporarily on the back burner until things with Hannah and myself are more stable. I can only deal with so much at once after all.

Hailey got a belated birthday present from my mother. A digital camera. It's pink and she is very happy with it. She's taken lots of pictures and has had me load them to the computer. I am a bit ticked that my mother spent $60 on it for her. She never does this for the other kids, and she's forgotten plenty of their birthdays, hell she forgets mine without so much as a phone call! I don't think a seven year old needs the $60, touch screen version of a digital camera just because it was pink! There are plenty of less expensive ones out there that she could have gotten her because odds are she is going to lose or damage it being that she is only seven. Hannah said my mom was guilt shopping and she's probably right. That's how my mom operates. One of the many reasons growing up with her was odd.

I haven't made any new years resolutions yet. I've made them in the past and they never get done. I find it better to operate under open ended goals. I'm hoping to manage my health better. I'm hoping to read a lot more to my kids. I'm hoping to get some really wonderful lessons involving lapbooks together for the younger kids. I plan on staying more on top of Hannah and her school work and teaching her to drive. I'd really like to get the station wagon back and fixed so it can be driven safely.